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Post by johnny martin on Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:03 am

Mike Tenay: Hello wrestling fans, and welcome to wCw Wenesday Night Thunder! I am Mike Tenay joined by my partner Dusty Rhodes.
Dusty Rhodes: Thanks Tenay, and I am glad to be sitting here as part of one of wCw's greatest nights: the live, 3 hour, re-debut of Wednesday Night Thunder!
Tenay: This is truly a new beginning for Thunder. We have a new GM and lots of new faces.
Dusty: And we also have new questions. Like what is that demonic structure hanging high above the ring.
Tenay: I don't know partner. Maybe we will get some answers now, as we kick it back to Jeremy Borash with our new GM, Mitch Shredder.
Jeremy Borash: Thanks Mike, I am JB Jeremy Borash standing here outside the new GM's office and my guest at this time is Mitch Shredder.
Mitch Shredder: Give me the mic, wimp! You see, I'm sure alot of you saw Monday Nitro and you're thinking: how can I top that? Well, the answer is simple: we will never have a boring, one fall match. We will always entertain you and keep you guessing with extreme and original match types. For example, our first match up tonight is a Triple Threat Barbed Wire Board Match pitting Street Fight Antonio, Chavo Guerrero, and Terry Funk against each other. And I am sending the winner of that match to take back what the most hardcore show ever deserves, the Hardcore title!
JB: Some big words by our new GM, Mitch Shredder. Wait a minute, is that who I think it is over there?
He takes off running.
JB: Ladies and gentlemen, this is a very strange situation. I have caught up with legend Terry Funk before his match and he's... well, he's killing rats.
Terry Funk is strangling a rat, and another is wrapped in barbed wire.
Funk: That's it... squirm you little furry motherfunkers!
He turns to the camera.
Funk: Street Fight Antonio...Chavo Guerrero...this is what I am going to do to you. You see, this is my kind of show. I am crazy, middle aged, and I am the Hardcore Icon! You can't beat me. Bring your best out their, I want to squash you at your ripest!
He walks towards the entrance ramp.
JB:O...K, back to Mike and Dusty at ringside.
Tenay: Thanks JB, but what was up with that?
Dusty: He is one crazy motherfunker!
Tenay: And now to Tony Chimel for the ring announcements.
Chimel: The following contest is the Barbed Wire Board Match. Introducing first, from Ammarillo, Texas, Terry Funk!

Chimel: And one of the opponents, from New Jersey, Street Fight Antonio!

Chimel: And the final competitor, from El Paso, Texas, Chavo Guerrero!

Terry Funk, hits a chop on SFA, who goes down like a ton of bricks. Funk turns, right into a dropkick by Chavo Guerrero! Chavo goes up top early, looking for a frog splash, but SFA throws a chair right into his face, and Chavo goes tumbling down onto a barbed wire board outside the ring. SFA makes a rolling motion with his hands, and does a rolling thunder over the top rope onto Chavo but he moves and SFA smashes through the barbed wire board.
Tenay: Well, SFA has gone through a barbed wire board but he was not forced driven through by an opponent so the match continues.
Dusty: But still, that will take a lot out of you!
Chavo slides back into the ring and immediately gets chop blocked by Funk. Funk locks on his patented spinning toe hold, but Chavo rolls through reversing it into a lasso from el paso! SFA barely gets back in the ring, and smashes Chavo with a sledgehammer, knocking him off the hold! He faces Funk and gets clocked by a trash can shot! Funk places the can on SFA's head, picks him up, and drops him with a huge texas piledriver!! Both of his opponent's down, Funk picks up a barbed wire board and sets it up. Chavo gets up, tosses the trash can onto Funk's head, and hits an enziguiri which sends Funk onto the board. SFA and Chavo climb on opposite corners, and hit a double frog splash on Funk through the barbed wire board!!!
Tenay: OH MY GOD!!!
Dusty: The match is over, but who won?
Mitch Shredder comes out, mic in hand.
Tenay: Maybe we are about to find out.
Mitch: Well done, what a great match and a great way to start the show!
*The crowd cheers*
Mitch: As both of you drove Terry Funk through the board simultaneously, I am ordering this match to be restarted-without Terry Funk!
Tenay: Great decision by our new GM!
Dusty: But what's Chavo doing?
Chavo picks up a roll or barbed wire, and wraps it around SFA until he can't move! Then he picks up a chair and smashes SFA with the chair over and over again! He sets up a barbed wire board, and drives a helpless, bloody, SFA through it with a Gory Bomb!
Tenay: What a cheapshot! Before Antonio could even react, the match was over.
Dusty: It doesen't matter how it happens, Chavo is leaving tonight with a win!
Chimel: Here is your winner, Chavo Guerrero!

Tenay: After a great match, we head to the locker room where JB is standing by.
JB: Thank you Mike, I am here with the 4 newest superstars in TNA, and they are not happy.
ALL: Of course we're not happy! We don't have a match tonight!
JB: Well, here is Mitch Shredder maybe he has a solution.
Mitch: Mic please, worm! You posers all think you're so tough! Well, prove it! You are going to compete in the first ever Mile Long Electric Dog Collar Street Fight!
ALL: Huh? What's that?
Mitch: It's something I just made up, that's what it is! Now get in that car!
JB: Well, a brand new match type announced for tonight! Back to ringside, for the rules I hope.
Tenay: Thanks JB. A new match type! What are the rules?
Dusty: Well Tenay, I have just been handed a piece of paper with the rules on it. It appears to be a napkin, and the ink is still wet. Anyhow, the competitors will be divided into two teams, in this case A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels vs. John Morrison and Joey Mercury. The teammates will be put in dog collars and attached by a 10 foot string. They will then be driven a mile away from the arena, where the match will begin. The first one back in the ring, has to press his opponents button on the podium in the ring there, thus sending 1,000 volts through their opponents dog collars and ending the match.
Tenay: Well explained Dusty. We are being informed we are cutting to the car, where they have reached a mile away from the arena.
Everybody gets out of the car, and starts brawling like crazy! MNM throw powder in the eyes of A.J. Styles, and go for the Snapshot but Christopher Daniels chop blocks them with the chain, sending all 3 through a pile of crates! Daniels takes the windsheild wipers off the car, and starts beating MNM with them! Styles manages to wipe the powder out of his eyes, climb to the top of the car, and deliver a Spiral Tap to MNM!! Unfortunately, he missed, landing on a guardrail and hurting his knee. MNM get up, and start beating up the out numbered Daniels with steel pipes! They pick him up, deliver a Snapshot to Daniels on the hood of the car, and take off running!
Styles limps over and tries to revive Daniels as we cut to commercial.

We're back, and Styles and Daniels finally catch up to MNM a quarter mile from the arena and deliver a clothesline with their chain! Styles finds a crate, picks up Mercury, and hits a huge Styles Clash through the crate! Daniels goes for an Angel's Wings on Morrison, but Morrison hits Daniels where it hurts with his chain!! Morrison comes up on Styles and chokes him with the chain!! He takes off for the arena, dragging Mercury and with Styles and Daniels in groggy pursuit. Styles nails Morrison with a brass knux shot to the head, and is about to enter the arena when Mercury throws him through a glass window!!! MNM enter the arena with nobody chasing them, thinking they won. When they reach the ring, they look up into a moonsault by Daniels and a Spiral Tap by Styles from the top of the building!!!!! With MNM completely out, Styles adds insult to injury with 1,000 volts through their lifeless body!
Tenay: That was insane! What a match!
Dusty: You got that right! And we've still got 3 more matches to go!
Tenay: We've got breaking news in the locker room again!
Dusty: Aw man, I want to watch MNM twitch for a while longer!
JB: I'm here in the women's locker room with our lovely ladies crew.
All the divas are fighting on tables and smashing each other into lockers!
Mitch: What's all this noise- wow! Ladies, you don't have to fight over me!
Mitch: Oh. Then what is it.
Torrie: I want the women's title!
Jazz: I want it more!
ALL: We all want it!!
Mitch: I have a way to settle this! Torrie and Jazz get out their. You are the first two participants in the KO Gauntlet Match for the Women's Title.
JB: Back to you at ringside with what is sure to be an exciting match!
Tenay: Well, all the divas in competition tonight!
Dusty: I don't know if my weak heart can take it.
Tenay: And now to Chimel for the annoucements.
Chimel: The following contest is a KO Gauntlet Match for the Women's Title! Introducing first, from Boise, Idaho, Torrie Wilson!

And one of the opponents, from New Orleans, Louisiana, Jazz!

Torrie goes for a clothesline, but Jazz reverses into the B*@!h Clamp! Torrie flips over the top of her and hits a straight jacket DDT! The Ref checks. Not KOed! Torrie gets mad, and goes to the top rope for an elbow drop, but misses! Jazz mounts her and starts punching away. Torrie tries to monkey flip her off, but is reversed into a neckbreaker! Jazz picks her up, signalling for a fisherman brainbuster, but Torrie floats over, and hits a sitout swinging facebuster!! The Ref checks. She's out!

Stacy Keibler come down and hits Torrie with a thesz press and starts slapping the hell out of her! Torrie monkey flips out, but Stacy lands on her feet and irish whips her into the corner. She slaps on a foot choke, then goes to the opposite corner, and misses with a handspring elbow! Torrie goes for a reverse suplex but Stacy lands on her feet, bounces on the ropes, and hits a spinning heel kick! The Ref checks. She's out!

Molly Holly sneaks through the crowd, and chop blocks Stacy from behind. She stomps on her until Stacy grabs her leg, and takes her over with a dragon screw. Stacy hits a leg drop, but Molly pops right up and hits two clotheslines. Stacy goes for a super kick, but Molly reverses into a pancake! Molly hits a baseball slide to take Stacy out of the ring. Molly goes up top, and flips off with a Molly Go Round, but Stacy reverses into a flipping piledriver on the floor!!! The Ref checks. She's out!

Ivory comes out from under the ring and hits Stacy with a bulldog! She delivers a stiff kick right to her face, and tries for a diving crossbody, but Stacy hits a superkick in midair! Stacy climbs to the top, and hits an incredible Houston Hang Over!!! The Ref checks. She's out!

The last competitor, Miss Jackie Moore, stumbles out.
Tenay: A backstage attack?
Dusty: Nope, she's just hammered!
Jackie tries to punch Stacy, but Stacy dodges and Jackie falls out of the ring and smashes through the announce table!!! The Ref checks. She's out, ring the bell!
Chimel: Here is you winner, and the Women's Champion, Stacy Keibler!!!

Tenay: Great match, weird finish.
johnny martin
johnny martin

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